Asian Stereotypes and Movie Reviews

Alright folks, just saying, before you read this. This one gets a little wordy. Now would be a good time for those weak of mind to get out a dictionary. Just kidding. Sorry for the lack of pictures

Hey! It's been sometime since I've written one of these. That pretty much attests to the uneventfulness of my life these past few days. Admit-ably I've been pretty low key when it comes to doing interesting things lately, but that changes(has changed) today. And that change has been brought about by a sudden spark of adventure that has stripped away the complacency of everyday life. That previous sentence was literary dark chocolate, just saying.

So fresh in my mind as I type out these sentences tonight, is the event that causes the first part of the title of this particular blog. Asian stereotypes. Specifically, bad driving. Albeit I consider myself a pretty A-Class driver. You know, I rock the whole one hand, turn-with-the-palm bit. And usually, I'm pretty consistent with my impeccable driving skills. Although, like all things in this life, those very skills suffer brief, temporary, lapses of ability which endanger the lives of those around me, not to mention my own. It hurts my psyche substantially to admit this, but as it would with anyone else, it happens.

Tonight I will report to you, my dear reader(s), as accurately as I can, the events that occurred this night of July 1 2010, at approximately 10:15PM Eastern Standard Time directly outside the Freehold Raceway Mall's AMC Lowes Theater.

After adjusting the driver's seat, aligning the remaining precautionary accident-likeliness-reduction reflective devices (a fancy way for saying rear-view mirrors) and turning on the Ipod, I put the S-Class in drive and lurched it forward. We stopped in a parking lot adjacent to the theater to enter Dan's address into the GPS.

After doing so we doubled back the way we had came, passing the theater entrance where we had only just been picked up. Then, a devilish thought occurred within the enigmatic workings that some call a mind. As we rolled pass the entrance, I brought down my driver-side window, I saw Julie Dantoni, who Daniel and I had been conversing with only a few moments ago, and as we passed by I yelled at the top of my voice "JULIE DANTONI!" Feeling pretty slick, I kicked up the speed a few miles per hour to quicken the escape necessitated by my daring little plan. We passed an SUV to our left and as the other lane of the road came into view, I eyed a small group of pedestrians immediately ahead of the car, a few yards off to the left . Slowing down a bit, but not stopping I waited to in order to judge whether or not to slam the breaks and interrupt the pleasant ride of my passengers, or to continue on and narrowly slip by, leaving them frightened, but unharmed. I was Relieved when I saw the group stop, and decided right then, to act upon the latter option, and pass them by.

But then, in an act of sheer defiance to my automotive prowess, the eldest male of the group continued onward, toward the path of my oncoming automobile, as if trying to state his dominance of the asphalt which we all know rightfully belongs to us drivers of automobiles. Alarmed, I moved slightly to the right to avoid careening into his defiant body. And as I passed by this man, my window still down from the previous episode concerning the name screaming and such, he let out a very audible "Really?" to cap off his bold performance. He stood in the middle of the street watching as I continued on my path, leaving him to gawk at the rear of our vehicle.

Feelings of embarrassment and concern began ripping through my body. "What if he was staring to take down our license plate, so he could report me?" As per my very own delightful father's demands I am currently restricted from operating motor(completely just blanked on how to spell motor and googled it) vehicles. Having a police officer knock on his door and inform him as to my mother and I's clandestine driving endeavors, would ultimately lead to my physical demise. And that, is something I must constantly work towards detering from my life's path.

So for the rest of the drive to Dan's house and later to mine, I was overcome with paranoia, that my deeds would be uncovered, and the ugly truth of my own defiance to my fathers law exposed in bright light before him. My mind wandered to thoughts of shipment overseas to carry out the remainder of my life back in my mother country of Malaysia, a threat of punishment frequently employed by my dear, delightful father. Originally stated by him in terms closer to "YOU MESS UP AGAINA, I SHIP YOU BACK TO MALAYSIA, NO MORE ANYTING FO YOU!"

Well, as it turns out no officers of the law had been near my doorstep, and to my current knowledge, no reports had been made. Although I impatiently wait to see what surprises tomorrow may hold. But for now, I relax, and enjoy the continual state of my life, and revel in the accomplishments of my narrow escape from lawsuit and other penalties, which I have managed to evade, once again.

And with that I turn the eloquence switch off to review a movie for you. Tonight me and Dan snuck into Get Him to the Greek. Did you know snuck isn't and actual word. Yeah it's being underlined by spell check. So here goes nothing as I try my hand at movie reviewing. This is new ground for me so if I'm biased or cross or communistic please don't heckle me.

The movie, was very good. I expected a Superbad-Hangover-esque film, filled to the brim with humor cheesier than the fries at the pool. But what I got was a movie that made me laugh, and make me feel a bit warm and fuzzy. The style of humor was pretty dirty, but in a some what respectable way. Brilliant lines like "You can't out run me! I'm black!" peppered the faster paced scenes of the movie.

When the booze and narcotics started coming on screen I prepared myself for a sloppy and grotesque, slapstick style, vomit-on-the nearest-person gauntlet the likes of which one doesn't know whether to laugh at or be disgusted with. Although that statement remains true regarding a great deal of the movie, the rest weaves an almost touching tale of Aldous Snow's fall from greatness, his redemption, and a grand display human error. All of which paralleled by the struggles of the "Affable nitwit" Aaron Green, who guides the fallen rock star back to glory.

Sergio, played by P. Diddy, is Aaron's boss and possibly my favorite character. His knowledge-of-the-business insight (trys to) aides Aaron's effort to keep Aldous and his crazy rockstar tendancies in order. He makes some of the most memorable lines in the movie, and his character greatly serves to show how out classed Aaron is by such titans of the industry as himself and Aldous. Although Aaron eventually moves on to produce for Aldous, putting himself on par with Sergio.

This movie was very good. 7.93 on the ten scale. A lot of good material to laugh yourself silly at, and enough semblance of a story line to keep the active minded interested. Do not under any circumstances watch this with your parents. (it's rated R, but still don't go with an adult who's job it is to steer you away from the habits emulated in the movie. if you want to watch it, go on a week night and sneak in.) If you do decide to watch it with your parents, get ready for a whole lot of awkwardness.

And that's it. Hope you enjoyed my scribblings, and decide to come back and see what else is going on with me and my adventurous doings.

-Chris

Music I'm listening to right now:
Blue Jean's and White T shirts - The Gaslight Anthem